An Open Letter To Political Sign Stealers

Today I got an automated call from one of our local candidates, asking for my support.  Towards the end of the robotic rhetoric, I was informed that their opponent's base has been stealing their lawn signs.

Now I don't know about you, but I have never looked at the plastic banners up and down Hempstead Turnpike or the plastic signs staked into my neighbors' lawns and felt an urge to change my political allegiance.  I know who I'm voting for, and I based that decision on listening to what the candidates have to say.

Nevertheless, stealing political signs has been a "game" played by both sides for as long as anyone can remember.  And I'm here to tell you now that if you've ever stolen a neighbor's sign, or defaced the banner of the opposing party's candidate, you are not only breaking the law - you are a coward.

Yep, I went there.

Now let's ignore the illegality of what you've done: we both know it's a crime to steal or deface the signs, and yet still you've done it.  And you must think it was a pretty gutsy thing to do.

But why did you do it in the first place? 

Essentially, you don't want other people to see your candidate's opponent has any support.  But ask yourself: isn't your candidate the best choice for the job?  Based on their speeches or performance, hasn't your candidate proven to you that he/she is worthy of your vote?  If they are that gosh darn amazing, what could a couple of silly signs on your clueless neighbors' lawns do to hurt their chances of winning the election?

Bottom line: You DON'T think your candidate has the chops to stand on his/her own laurels.  You ARE afraid that if others see signs of the enemy they might be swayed to vote for that person -- and that scares you.  And so, instead of putting your faith in your politician, you sneak out and trash those signs.

We live in a very politically charged time: Families and friends can be sitting around the table, one minute laughing about something funny the baby did, the next snarling at one another because of political differences (trust me, I've been there).  We also live in a very tech-heavy era: it doesn't cost all that much for people to buy and set up surveillance cameras, point them at the candidate's signs staked on their lawns...and wait.

We have our differences, and a couple of lawn signs aren't going to change them.  Even confessed sign stealer Phil Busse concedes that the signs are "Akin to wearing the home team's color on game day or fans painting their faces, the political lawn sign is more statement than persuasion."  Of course that doesn't change the fact that he remained apologetic for his thefts.

But I'm asking you now, sign stealer -- instead of sneaking out tonight, why not put some faith in your candidate?  If they're as good as you think they are, they're going to wipe the election day floor with their opponent, signs or no signs.